


A Mother’s Paradox

by Critically_endangered



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Aftermath - Chuck Wendig
Genre: Childhood Memories, Family Bonding, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Nightmares, Parent-Child Relationship, Pre-Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25805635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Critically_endangered/pseuds/Critically_endangered
Summary: Five year old Rae Sloane has never been one to shy away from a lesson, no matter the time or circumstance, especially if her mother is the teacher.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	A Mother’s Paradox

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a two-chapter gallirae fic, but it escalated into whatever this is for some reason. However I think it turned out pretty cute and I was kinda proud of it, I’ve been putting off posting it because I haven’t actually published anything since October 2019, but I pushed myself in the end. I’m still writing the previously mentioned fic, but as I am going to pick up my examination results in less than two weeks I can't promise that will be out anytime soon. *insert extremely stressed out, in need of a hug, excuse here*  
> I didn’t give Mama Sloane a name in this small story because I’m sure many people have names/headcannons about her they would like to read by, I also didn’t comment much on Rae’s family as again I’m sure some picture her with or without siblings, and so you can read this in whichever headcannon you would like, it’s all down to interpretation.  
> But yeah I hope yall enjoy this, I think it's decent.

Rae felt the incredibly uncomfortable pressure of the anxious knot forming in her stomach as she sat up in a cold sweat, a crack of lightening iluminating the entire room as her eyes began to adjust from the bright colours of her nightmare to the dimly lit state of her bedroom.

The five year old Ganthelian child winced in embarrassment as she felt two burning tears trace down her cheeks, swiftly followed by an unexpected plethora of the salty bodily fluid. Her tightened chest suddenly began to hitch as unwanted sobs wretched from the base of her throat, leaving the little girl sat in stunned semi-silence.

It had happened again, the fourth night in a row if she remembered rightly. The same routine, her mother or father would put her to bed, (depending on their working circumstance, sometimes she would have to be self disciplined enough to put herself to bed at a _reasonable_ time) Rae would suffer some form of unbearable nightmare, unbeknownst to anybody else in the house, and end up sobbing to herself until the sun was completely visible in the morning sky, meaning it was then safe to go downstairs and start the day, despite how the lack of decent sleep and early morning would effect her mood later on. And Rae couldn't stand 'the same routine' for much longer.

Crying wasn't something she displayed often, she wasn't an oversensitive brat who weeped at the stupidest of things, and there certainly wasn't any need to cry over something as silly as a bad dream, but it seemed as if her body wouldn't ever give her much choice in the matter, by the time Rae was fully conscious her cheeks were already stained with tracks. It unwillingly sent her anxious mind wandering to what her father's colleagues had said about their children, how much they would brag about how mature their kids were, and how much talent they all had.

"Out Brazlin can tie his own shoelaces", "Our Kass can speak a few sentences in three languages", "Well my Stenly is an impeccable artist."

And what had her parents prided themselves on in regards to their only daughter? Her bravery.

Rae had once overheard them telling some friends of theirs how their youngest was incredibly brave and ever so headstrong, how she was the only one who could evacuate the unwanted insects from their 'fresher, no matter how much they might bite, how she could look after her own injuries whenever she scraped a knee or grazed her elbows, (although her Mama still had to give whatever torn skin she'd mutilated the 'magical kiss' afterwards,) and how she never had any reason to cry unnecessarily despite how young she was.

And ever since she had worn her courage like a badge of honour, she prided herself on whatever her parents found endearing about her, which only made Rae feel even more the failure at the time.

Because there she sat, blankets bundled up in her clenched fists, pillow drenched through with sweat, hot tears dribbling down her cheeks, and shaky shoulders that seemed to buck with every sob.

And it wouldn't stop no matter how much she tried.

After a moment of furious eye-rubbing, which only seemed to make the situation painful and frankly very sore, Rae forced her reluctant, watering pupils to dance across the walls of her bedroom, mustering up every ounce of courage she could to check the room for the villains that had plagued her sleep for the better half of a week, just to be sure they wouldn't jump out on her while she reached over to grab her only soft toy from the end of her bed.

Rae had placed the stuffed mutriok at the end of her mattress the previous evening, facing it towards the window in hopes it would protect her from the possible intruders, the events over those past few weeks had unfortunately drawn her to belief and stupidity.

The logical side of her knew a few pieces of cloth with fuzzy insides, sewn up seams and green marbles for eyes couldn't jump to life and attack whoever ventured in through her bedroom window, only the powerful people of the Galaxy could do such things, like the Jedi or the Republican Navy and Military, but they didn't care about Ganthel, and they certainly didn't care for some low-profile child and her silly fears.

And so she was left with little means of protection, leaving the small percentage of her brain that believed her mutriok would keep her safe to take over in desperation.

In all honesty the mutriok, Bayoo she had named her, after the mechanic repair facility her mother worked for lost its original owner Peni Bayoo, wasn't actually Rae's _only_ soft toy. Being a small child and specifically a girl, a lot of their relatives and family friends would often donate their children's playthings to the Sloane family whenever their kids grew out of need for them, knowing full well they didn't exactly have enough credits to give their daughter a decent amount of toys, so her collection had become slightly mismatched over her short life so far. Most 'plush' toys she owned were made of scratchy fabrics, sand-filled insides and buttons for eyes, they were far too uncomfortable for her bed, and so they lived in a box in their small lounge, that way it gave her easy access to play while her parents were away working and she was left to mind herself.

Beside that box of compressible creatures, she had a crate of wooden soldiers, ships and animals her father had handcrafted for her in his spare time, her favourite being a snake that could bend in her grip, sometimes pinching her skin between its coiling body. She had named him Pincher in honour of his talent, making him one of the very few toys she had given a name. Her favourite activity involving the wooden snake was to hide herself beyond the nooks and cracks throughout their home and pounce onto the unfortunate target walking by, hissing at them before declaring their death and running along to find somebody else to spring up on. Her parents found it _cute_ , but she knew snakes and their venom were very serious and shouldn't be labelled in such a vulgar ways, and neither should she.

Despite the important process of catching her family with a venomous reptile, Rae also liked to set the bombardment of toys she owned into rows of seven, giving them orders to banish the evil Kotaska from her homeworld, or, the more important problem, ransack the kitchen cabinets for secret sweets she wasn't allowed access too.

Of course if the toys were alive, they would obviously listen to her, because she was their leader, and as she'd heard in songs, seen on the holonet, and read about in her school datatexts, everybody must follow the leader.

And nobody else was worthy enough to be her assistant other than Bayoo.

The mutriok wasn't like any other toy Rae had ever owned before. Her mother had brought it for her after the unfortunate demise of Vix the plush shell spider. She didn't quite remember the encounter but apparently it had been her favourite toy as an infant, and so she'd wanted to show it off to the few children in her neighbourhood. Only then for Brazlin, the infamous shoelace tier, to rip away Vix's legs after Rae had refused to give the spider up.

Sometimes she felt bad for feeling so, but she much preferred Bayoo anyhow, she was made of a soft, white Nabooian silk, with tufts of pink cotton around her neck and paws. Her ears were pointed upright with a slip of material inside the seams, and they too were decorated with pink cotton. Rae wasn't usually one for pretty looking toys, she would almost always prefer something with a tougher appearance, something she could march into battle, but her mother had spent a lot of money on Bayoo, and even at such a young age Rae knew she had to be very appreciative of how much money her parents spent on her due to their low income rate.

Plus, just because Bayoo was pretty didn't mean she couldn't be tough too, there wasn't any need for that sort of underestimation. Not to mention she was also much nicer to snuggle with, and she smelt just like her mother's hair product, whatever weird concoction that was made up of.

With that in mind, Rae buried her face between Bayoo's ears and took a huge breath from within her nose, allowing the scent to ease her tears ever so slightly, any recollection to her mother or father was enough to calm her down, even if only a tad.

"I'm being silly, aren't I?" She whimpered into the mutriok's fur, hiding her chin inside the tuft of pink. It tickled her dampened skin, which at the very least brought a sad smile to her face. "I just can't help it Bayoo, I hate bad dreams, they get so scary, and that's not even the worst part, what if they come true? What if something happens to my family? Or to me?"

Clearly the toy offered up no response, which Rae was very aware would happen, toys couldn't speak unless you were rich enough to afford the fancy looking speaker box toys with flashy lights, she understood that was how logical inanimate objects worked, and yet she still failed to prevent the burst of tears erupting from her lower lash line as Bayoo offered no words of comfort from her permanently shut mouth.

It was a very rare occasion Rae ever needed somebody to comfort her. As her parents often liked to brag, she was a very brave child, she knew that, which usually resulted in no need for cuddles or comfort. Those sorts of things were for _babies_ , and she was incredibly grown up for her age, her Dad had told her so on multiple occasions. She should feel ashamed for her actions, and yet nothing was stopping the urge to run into her parents bedroom and beg for consolation, for them to promise her that her nightmares were only that, and nothing more.

Thankfully it was only an urge, her parents had taught her how important it was not to draw any unnecessary attention to their doorstep, and with the recent uprise in criminal related crimes, and the poor build of the houses on Ganthel, any commotion during the night cycle could attract extra unwanted enemies, and if somebody was shallow enough to get the criminals involved because their neighbours made a slight ruckus throughout the night, it wouldn't look good for the targeted family.

And so if Rae had a problem through the duration of the evening, she had to weigh down on just how serious it was on the scale of one to ten, ten meaning death, to see if she truly needed her parents. 

Not to mention even if she were allowed to wake them up for any reason at all, she still felt incredibly bad when she disrupted their sleeping schedule. Her mother was often up for work in the early hours of the morning, and her father didn't return until very late at night, it would be incredibly selfish of her to interrupt them.

"Bayoo? How mad do you think Mom and Dad would be if I turned the light on? Just for a little bit?" She whispered through her sniffles, this time speaking aloud to calm her nerves, not to expect a reply. "Maybe if the lights were on, and then we could both fight the Kotaska off, together. You're powerful enough, it'll be like playing battle, just with real villains."

In Rae's mind, the plush's imaginary voice reassured the little girl that she would assist in fighting away the criminal gang and any other intruder that may cause her harm, but in reality the toy just stared in silence, pretty green eyes barely visible unless lightening struck close enough to her window to admit a strip of light throughout the bedroom.

At least now she was calming down slightly, her loud sobs had mellowed out into frightened hiccups, and her drippy eyes and runny nose were slowly tightening on the moisture leaking from her facial orifices.

Just as Rae removed her face from its resting position on Bayoo's head, and her rapid heartbeat began to simmer down, a sudden burst of light erupted into the room as the bulb hanging from the ceiling admitted an unbearably bright shine, startling the girl into another fit of unreasonable sobbing.

'They're here,' she thought in a panic, clasping the toy to her chest as she wailed. 'They're back, they've come back to hurt my Dad, and then take me as punishment.'

Rae forced her face inside the fur between Bayoo's ears, screaming apologies and pleas at the intruder stepped into the room.

"Please don't take me! Daddy didn't mean to do whatever he did, he didn't, honest he didn't-!"

"Rae, what is going on?"

The girl looked up at the owner of the calming voice, a wave of relief drowning her hysterics to a blubbering mess as she recognised her mother stood in the doorway to her bedroom, hand resting upon the power switch and a mixture of concern and frustration dancing across her features.

Her mother was a very tall, well-muscled woman, with stern hazel eyes and curly brown hair so dark it was practically black. She stood proudly in her work attire of a mechanic safety jumpsuit and hard steel toe capped boots, her hair was pulled back into a bun atop the crown of her head, and she wore safety goggles around her neck, held by a strap of readjustable elastic. She was very much like her daughter physically, only Rae had inherited her Father's brown eyes, and as of yet her hair was still prominently brown.

Along with the ripple of relief, Rae knew she should have felt the urge to calm down, she was completely safe now, it was only her mother, but instead the child forced the blankets over her head and continued to cry, her entire body trembling like a humming ship engine on the verge of malfunctioning.

"What in all of the Galaxy's name are you crying about? Have you hurt yourself? Are you sick?" Her mother questioned, losing the gentle smoothness her voice had carried during her previous statement and replacing it with a sharp edge that Rae knew all too well, it was the same tone she always used whenever her children had misbehaved and needed some sort of reprimanding. "Rae. Answer me now."

The five year old peaked an eye out from underneath her hiding spot and stared as her mother approached, her boots echoing around the room as she marched forward. She looked incredibly tired, and Rae couldn't shake the feeling she was the one to blame.

The girl opened her mouth in a desperate attempt to explain just how sorry she was, that she didn't mean to make so much noise and wake her mother up, but the only sound that seemed to escape her parched throat was non-decodable nonsense, chased in quick pursuit by more tears.

'She's going to be so mad at me.' she thought to herself miserably, wiping away the dripping mucus from her nose onto her bedsheets. 'I'm meant to be her brave girl, I promised her I'd always be strong, but I'm not, I'm the exact opposite.'

Her mother stared at her with a sour expression for what felt like several minutes before eventually crouching down to an eye level position, peeling away the sticky blankets to expose the trembling child. Rae winced as the cool air of her bedroom came into contact with her bare legs, and she forced herself into a foetal position to contain all warmth she could after her source of heat had been taken from her.

"I made hot tea and sweeter for breakfast, think that'd help you calm down? I've got to know what's going on at some point." She asked, already reaching forward to scoop up her daughter without need for a verbal response.

It had been an extremely long time since her mother had last picked her up if Rae remembered rightly, it was usually her father who had the strength to let the small girl sit in his arms. It wasn't due to her mother being too weak, or Rae herself being too big, (she was told on the regular by the older children she was too small to do anything, so it clearly couldn't be that,) but working in the mechanical repair shop was very hard on her mother's back, and so it wasn't always wise to pick up your children when your 'old people pains' (as Rae called them) kicked up a fuss. 

Without giving a second thought to her firsthand embarrassment, the frightened child hooked her arms and legs around her mother's torso like a spider clinging desperately to its web, her fingers lacing together to avoid any chances of being put back down. All thoughts on how brave Rae forced herself to be and how childish sitting in your guardians arms felt seemed to melt away as her mother rubbed her back soothingly, whispering small shushing noises to her daughter while the girl sobbed.

"I feel your little heart is racing. I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I don't think I've seen you this distraught since-" she suddenly stopped herself, clearing her throat momentarily as if choking on whatever she had been planning to say. "Well you just had me worried Raely. You tell me what's got you worked up when you can, right? Unless it's a tummy ache, in which I need to know now before you vomit everywhere." Her mother chuckled comfortingly, running a hand throughout her daughter's messy curls as they moved towards the open door, shutting off the bedroom light just as another crackle of lightening struck not too far from Rae's bedroom window.

The small child had shifted her focus from listening to her mother's words to quietening her own sobs as they entered the upstairs hallway, trying her best to keep her whimpering to a minimum in fear of waking up her father too. She had clearly already woken up one of her parents, disturbing the other would be nothing short of anarchy to the orderly five year old, and that was without mentioning the fact Rae had never dealt with her Dad's anger very well.

Not due to any sort of abusive behaviour, because that wasn't the case in the slightest, far from it to be exact, but due to the circumstances her father's need to raise his voice had always been extremely scarce, so much so it always struck a raw nerve inside of the youngest Sloane the off chance it did occur.

Rae's mother was a great person, and there wasn't even a shadow of a doubt in the girl's mind that her Mama loved her children, but she could be so incredibly uptight, so 'on-schedule', which Rae liked for the most part, but it could equal out into snappy comments and short tempered demands sometimes. Her Dad on the other hand was very laid back, as long as his children were being safe and his youngest was in his view, he didn't seem to care whether they were quietly watching the holonet (although unlikely as they couldn't afford any channels Rae was old enough to watch other than the news) or jumping out on unsuspecting targets with wooden toys.  
  


And so in hindsight, her Dad never really had the need to be strict with his children, and had only ever yelled at his daughter once, which tore her little heart in two. She was honestly slightly embarrassed to admit she had practically pleaded for his forgiveness, terrified he would remain angry with her forever, although it did seemed a silly fear when she looked back over the situation. 

She could feel the shift of her mother's body bringing Rae out of her own mind as the woman carried her daughter down the stairs, avoiding the well known creeks of the floor to the best of her ability with little triumph, most likely due to the fact a five year old was blocking her vision.

Her mother's heartbeat was much steadier than her own, she could feel it against the ear she had pressed against her chest, it rippled throughout the little girl's veins as her own pulsation began to mirror the older female Sloane. She breathed in the scent of metallic from the denim jumpsuit, as well as the usual aroma of floral and ash her mother carried.

Immediately her tense body seemed to relax.

"Well, I had a bad dream..." she whispered eventually, burying her head against her mother's neck in embarrassment as they entered the kitchen. The small utility room was usually kept in a very orderly fashion, cutlery and dishes were always put away neatly, food was stored in correct places, and cupboards and countertops were clear of any unnecessary mess. Although now Rae looked around their kitchen to see an abundance of cooking equipment in the sink, both clean and dirtied plates strewn across the table, as well as their bagged goods piling up on the worktops. She felt her stomach twist in anguish as she realised just how busy her parents had been since the incident, taking time away from domestic duties to ensure their family's safety. "It's uhm- it's a really scary one, I've had it lots of times, but it was the scariest this time. I'm really sorry Mama"

Her mother pursed her lips together in confusion, dipping her chin slightly to place a gentle kiss to her daughter's sweaty brow, using the hand she had been rubbing against Rae's back to wipe away the sticky substance from her bronze skin.

"Now for the love of stars, what are you sorry for?" She asked, lowering them both into a chair at the small table. Rae was quick to readjust herself into a comfier position where her legs hung across her mother's lap, leaning her torso into the woman's chest to keep as much contact as she could. She noticed her mother did indeed have a flask of hot tea and a half eaten pastry on a disposable napkin, most likely due to the lack of plates they had handy.

From what Rae knew, most Ganthelian civilians referred to the breakfast tart as a 'Sweeter' due to its adoring sugary taste, made from different kinds of spices and fruit. It was almost unheard of to have something so delectable for breakfast, and so when the pastries were introduced many years ago it seemed like a fitting name. Rae's favourite thing about the sweeter was just how hard they were to make, and how expensive they were to come by. The true reasoning was because her mother was an excellent cook and made large batches of the pastry without spending too much money on ingredients, which gave their family a lifetime supply of decent food, and profit when Rae sold her mother's extra cooking results at her school to her fellow classmates who couldn't afford to buy the pastry in the market.

"I'm sorry for acting so silly" she whimpered in reply, rubbing the heel of her palms into her watery brown eyes. "It's just a dream, I wasn't being very brave at all, _and_ I woke you up, I'm really, really sorry"

"You're not acting silly, darling. You had a nightmare and it frightened you, everyone is afraid of their nightmares, because if they weren't those wouldn't be nightmares now would they? They would be dreams. And with what's been occurring in the neighbourhood recently I can only imagine what's going on inside your head right now. You don't ever need to apologise for that" her mother explained, lifting the flask filled with the warm tea from its place on the table. "And you didn't wake me up, I've been up for...at least an hour I'd say. I did hear you crying, but I was awake earlier than usual due to the storm, the grounded speeder lanes will be flooded over so I may find myself walking to work"

Rae's eyes flickered morbidly from her mother taking a silent sip of her tea towards the small kitchen window, where rain was pelting against the loose-fitted glass. Her eyes widened slightly as the mug was suddenly hovering under her nose, clearly offered out for Rae to have a sample. She did always love her parents special tea...

But the small child quickly pushed her mother's hand away, clearly convinced she had already ruined her early morning, and she didn't need to do anymore damage by drinking her tea.

For once, her mother was wrong. It was surely impossible for every being in the galaxy to feel fear, and she wanted- no she needed to be one of those lucky few who didn't feel the dreaded emotion. If not, what did she have to be proud of? She would be weak, an embarrassment.

She couldn't let that happen.

"How about this, you tell me what you had a nightmare about, and I'll tell you if it's scary enough for you to get upset over?" Her mother reasoned, almost as if she could sense her daughter didn't quite believe her previous statement.

"I guess so, but you have to be fair, you can't pretend to be scared to make me feel better." She demanded, only earning a silent nod in return. "Well, it always happens outside, but I don't know where. Usually I'm falling off a bridge and there's a big lake underneath me, but the lake is filled with sand, not with water. When I hit the sand I go straight through it, but I always see the people laughing at me as I'm falling, they point and I hear them say really mean things about me. Then I fall through the sand and fall into a big room, it's really dark so I kinda can't see very well, but I hear lots of children crying and big men screaming at them to shut up. Then those men, who wear masks like the Kotaska do, come up behind me and tie up my hands, and make me sit on the floor while they scratch an' hit me, there's always lots of blood, and it really hurts. Then it all goes really dark, and I can't see anything at, just hearing the screams, until the lights come back on...a-and-"

Rae shook her head viciously as she felt her voice quiver, taking a noticeably slow breath as she attempted to recompose herself. "-an' usually there's even more blood on my clothes an' my hands, I don't hurt anyone though, honest Mama I stay really still, but then I see the mask men holding up you and Dad by your hair, and they say if I don't hurt you, somebody else will hurt me. I always run to help you, but the men grab me and started hittin' again. This time they ripped up my clothes and pulled my hair, they kept making fun of how I talked, 'cause they talked different-ed to us. They kept saying you were going to d-die, and that I would be an orphan like Eidami Venau, one of them even spitted on me! I-It was horrible Mama" she explained throughout tears, her sobs bursting through the girl's pathetic attempt to hold them back.

Rae usually liked to think she talked in a very mature fashion for somebody as young as five, but when panicked or upset even she could admit whatever ramble coming out of her mouth was most likely incomprehensible. At least her parents seemed to understand her no matter how she was talking.

"Oh darling, that sounds terrible" her mother sighed sympathetically, cupping Rae's cheeks in her palms to swipe away the quick falling tears with her thumbs. "I don't blame you for being so scared, I think I would be just as scared as you were, maybe even more."

"Really?" The small girl asked in surprise, all thought that her mother could be embellishing her reaction just to calm her child down disposed of in the backs of her brain.

"Really." Her mother smiled, kissing the side of her daughter's cheek as a small grin broke out on Rae's lips. "But we'll come back to that in a moment. First of all I think we should pick apart this dream and think about it logically, you're very good at that, aren't you?"

"Oh! yes I am!"

"Yes you are. So this dream of yours, it starts with you falling into a pit of sand, with people watching right? Well that doesn't sound too much like Ganthel to me, we have sinkholes, but they're only made from collapsed rock. So wherever this dream is it isn't here, and you know as well as I do that we aren't travelling any time soon" She observed, pulling an elastic band away from her wrist and scooping her daughter's ringlets between her fingers, ready to tie the sweaty locks into a ponytail. Ironically, it was her father who was usually much better at doing Rae's hair, something to do with tying a hair elastic being similar to tying the plastic seal of a loading crate, but her mother could still make a basic hair tie.

Now that she thought about it, her mother was right. It was the harsh truth of their planet unfortunately, you either had enough money to rocket yourself out of atmosphere, or you didn't, and you spend the rest of your days tip-toeing around the hierarchy criminal gangs. Rae had been told by her Aunt that joining the Kotaska was the only way to be safe on Ganthel, and Rae had believed her for the most part, but then the gang had gone after the parents of Eidami Venau. who worked alongside the Kotaska in theft. Nobody knew quite why the gang went for one of their own, some speculated Mr Venau owed them money, other's thought he was trying to leave the gang all together, but Rae could only ever think about the poor girl who became parentless, who slowly stopped turning up in the schoolyard, until she completely disappeared all together. She hadn't known Eidami very well, and so her fate was as much as mystery to her than to everybody else, but it still made Rae's skin crawl that one day she could potentially be next.

But as her mother had said, at least her nightmare wasn't on her own planet, and if they didn't have the funds to leave, they wouldn't be travelling any time soon to a potential sand filled lake with creepy men and tortured children.

"Wait" she whimpered, her arms trembling as she grasped her mother's clothes in a tight grip. "What if that's what happened to Eidami? What if they took her to the sand-lake!?"

"Raely shh, keep your voice down for me. You know that's very unlikely" her mother reassured her, running her fingers down the girl's back as she clutched her daughter in a tightly wrapped embrace. "Is this what these nightmares are all about? Are you scared something might happen to us? You know we're perfectly fine"

"No we're not. I heard you talking to Daddy the other night and you said that you were scared about your shop, and scared about letting me go to school because I'm one of the smallest! If you're scared that means something bad is going to happen" Rae cried, her words slightly muffled by the fabric she had pressed against her skin. "Please don't let anything bad happen to us Mama"

No matter how good it felt to have her hair away from her sticky neck and her mother's hands on her back, Rae knew her rapid heartbeat wasn't going to slow down anytime soon, and it was getting unbearable.

"Of course I won't. Rae I understand why you're so worked up, but you have to trust me and your father to make good decisions for all of us, as long as we're together as a family we will always protect you. I know the Kotaska are very dangerous, and yes they went after the Venau's, but they were doomed from the start, they involved themselves very early on, what happened to that little girl wasn't her fault, and I pray to the force that it protects her wherever she is, but we won't find ourselves in that position because we stay out of trouble. You hold my hand when we go to the market, and you listen to your Father when we're in the loading docks which keeps you perfectly safe, and like we know, you're a good listener and a very logical girl, right?"

"Yes I'm a very good listener!" The five year old agreed, smearing her tears against the backs of her hands at the praise mentioned. Her mother merely smirked and swept her daughter in for a hug, pressing her cheek against the girl's head.

"And since you're such a good listener, I want you to listen to me very carefully for a moment." She explained, a small sense of that serious tone creeping back into her voice. It wasn't the same as her scolding tone thankfully, Rae heard the latter enough to know exactly what it sounded like. "When I said to you that everybody is scared of their nightmares, I truly meant that. It's okay to be scared Raely. I know, I know, you're a big brave girl, but even brave girls can be afraid sometimes. Being brave isn't about pretending you aren't scared, it's about being courageous enough to share and face your fears, we all have them, that's what makes us human in a way, although I'm sure many aliens have fears too"

"Even you?"

"Oh especially me! When you become an adult, everything is utterly terrifying, kiddo. Taxes, bills, work, feeding the kids, cleaning the house, cleaning the speeder, helping the kids with their school work, and there's so much more, I could go on and on" her mother groaned mockingly, resting her chin against her daughter's head, causing Rae to giggle as she wiped at her damp eyes. Hopefully when she was big like her Mama, her life wouldn't be full of scary things like that. "But when you're an adult, you'll have a loving husband to help you out like I have your father"

"That's really gross" Rae wrinkled her nose. "Boys are so icky. I don't want a husband, or a wife, I just want my own ship to travel across the Galaxy in, it'll be a big ship too, like the one Dad is making for me, but human-sized! Just for me and Bayoo"

Rae finally allowed her mother to unsling her arms from around her daughter's waist, sitting her on the table as she stood up to reheat her sweeter pastry. Even the five year old could agree they were much nicer warm, although edible cold. She also didn't seem to mind that she wasn't sat on her mother's lap anymore, the reassurance that the option to do it again had finally settled into her stomach, and the knot of anxiety was slowly untying itself.

"You want to travel? Wow, that's a big goal, you'll have to get the credits for your ship somehow, or you'd have to build it yourself. Plus, Dad and I can't come with you, won't you miss us?" Her mother asked, sliding the pastry into their subpar conditioned grill.

"Yes I'll miss you, but I'll just come back and visit, I could bring you cool droids from other planets for the shop, and I'll have Bayoo with me to keep me company, and so I can remember you" she explained, kicking her feet rhythmically. "I really want to go to Coruscant, that sounds like a lot of fun"

"I've been to Coruscant" her mother explained, pulling the only 'clean' plate they had left out from a cabinet above the grill. "I probably wasn't much older than you, maybe around eight years old, we only stayed for a few weeks as my parents were looking at buying a house, and yet they still settled here in the end"

"Stupid mistake" Rae whined, propping her head up in her palm. It didn't take a Jedi to understand her mother didn't get on very well with her own parents, but whenever a conversation broke out around the topic Rae was always sent to bed or forced to play somewhere else, it infuriated her to no extent. "If they'd stayed there, we wouldn't worry about the Kotaska, or other criminals"

"You do realise Coruscant has lots of lawbreakers too. You have to be incredibly smart to navigate your way around the city planet without falling into the wrong hands"

"Yeah but they have all of those Jedi protecting them, and even if they didn't I'm smart enough, so it doesn't matter. Y'know my teacher says I'm one of the smartest kids she knows, and she always lets me read when the other kids are still working" she announced proudly. It was partly true, her teacher hadn't quite said Rae was the smartest kid she knew, but she did often let her read while the other children finished working, since she was most likely finished an hour in advance.

"You're probably right, you're a very clever girl. In fact, you're so clever you could even start helping me out at work soon, I'm sure you'd be a nifty little mechanic, maybe then you could find parts for this ship of yours"

Rae pulled a face of sheer disgust at the mere thought of tampering with droids all day. She liked when her mother got to work on the ships, and it's true she could find parts for her own freighter, but those days would always be few and far between, she would much rather play in the loading docks or read in the school library than tinker with machinery all day, that was _boring_.

"No thanks Mama, that's boring" she shrugged absentmindedly, watching curiously as her mother took the pastry from underneath the grill and placed it on the plate. The woman leaned over and lifted the child up by her underarms, before placing her in the chair beside the table and handing the sweet tart over to her, ruffling up the loose ponytail as Rae stared in confusion.

"B-But it's your breakfast-!"

"I've had enough already, besides you need it more than I do." She explained with her warm motherly smile, pulling out another chair to sit down beside her daughter. "Don't eat it too quickly now, you really shouldn't go back to sleep with a full belly, and I'll need you to get back into bed when I leave for work"

Rae nodded apprehensively, feeling slightly bad for stealing her mother's breakfast, but savouring each bite of the hot pastry as the sweet taste tingled her jaw.

"Now, while you eat that I need you to be my good little listener again, okay? Because I've got a very important question for you. You said this isn't the first time you've had this nightmare, why haven't you woken me or your father up at all?" She asked gently, taking a small sip of her tea. Rae felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment, the breakfast treat suddenly becoming unbearably hard to swallow.

"Well...you and Dad said I couldn't get out of bed in the night because it attracts lots of attention, that's bad, and with what happened to Eidami I didn't wanna risk it. And I also didn't wanna wake you up cause you have work" she explained, her eyes cascading towards her lap shyly.

"Oh Raely, darling that isn't what we meant" her mother sighed, using a finger to direct her daughter's chin upwards to keep the eye contact strong. "That isn't what we meant at all, yes it's true if you make too much commotion our house gets noticed more, with how thin the walls are that can be quite dangerous, and so I advise you to stay in bed when it's bedtime just to be on the safe side, but if you're sick or you've had a nightmare and you need some comfort you can always come and wake us up, I don't want you to suffer in silence"

She knew her mother wasn't scolding her, if anything she was trying to be comforting, but Rae still felt as if tears of reprimanding were necessary, she'd still done something wrong even if she thought it were right.

"B-but you have work! I didn't wanna wake you cause of work" she whimpered, screwing up her fists in frustration. "Why am I getting all of this wrong?!"

"Calm down, you're not getting this wrong, you just misunderstood. You know I would rather lose a few hours of sleep and give you cuddles, then sleep all night but know my little girl is frightened-"

"I'm not a little girl" Rae snapped in protest, feeling oddly offended by such an accusation. Her mother merely smiled, rolling her eyes playfully.

"Of course not, my mistake" she teased. "Well, knowing my big, strong girl is frightened, because remember what I said, everybody gets scared once in a while. I need you to promise you will come and wake us up if you need too, can you please promise me that?"

Rae nodded in agreement, the unbearable feeling of her mother being mad at her quickly subsiding with her gentle tone. She didn't really understand just how hard keeping the promise was going to be, she just wanted to make her mother happy. After dusting her hands on her pyjama shirt, Rae outstretched her smallest finger to seal her oath with the unbreakable 'pinkie swear'.

"I promise Mama"

"That's my good girl" she grinned. Rae pushed away her now empty plate of pastry crumbs, before wrapping her arms around her mother's neck. She felt their heartbeats match up again as their bodies pressed together, and her mother kissed the side of her cheek with as much tenderness as she could possibly muster. She would've liked the moment to last forever, but she knew that wasn't very realistic.

"Thank you for giving me hugs and kisses, and letting me talk about my nightmare. I feel a bit better now" she whispered into her mother's ear, grinning as the pressure of her grip tightened slightly. "...I love you Mama"

"I love you too Raely"

"All the way to the stars and back?"

"And the stars go on forever"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was accurate enough. Personally I’m not a parent and my mother wasn't very sympathetic towards my nightmares as a child so I'm not entirely sure how parents are supposed to react in these situations, so I just based it off a mixture of how I suspect Sloane was as a young child and how I suspect her parents would deal with such a strong willed mentality. I’ve always imagined her to be very intelligent, and extremely self-aware due to her upbringing on a criminal riddled planet, however she’s still a child, which is why the dream description was written to seem like a ramble of sorts, because she’s literally five.


End file.
